Superpower or supervillain?
Perfectionism, often seen as a hallmark of high achievers, has long been praised for its ability to drive individuals towards excellence. However, beneath its shiny exterior lies a complex psychological trait that can be both a blessing and a curse, so we decided to explore the dichotomy of perfectionism, exploring both its positive and negative aspects. Furthermore, we will highlight how acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) can support individuals struggling with perfectionism, helping them to find a healthier and more balanced approach to life.
Perfectionism as a superpower
Perfectionism, when harnessed positively, can indeed be a superpower. It propels individuals to set high standards, be meticulous, and strive for excellence.
Perfectionists are motivated by an inner desire to win. Their relentless pursuit of excellence often leads to impressive accomplishments in various domains of life, such as academics, career, and creative pursuits. Perfectionists possess a keen eye for detail and are meticulous in their work, leaving no room for errors or oversight. This trait can be highly advantageous in professions that demand precision and accuracy. Setting ambitious goals for themselves and refusing to settle for mediocrity means the bar is continuously raised and an unwavering commitment to succeed can lead to remarkable achievements. Even in the face of setbacks perfectionists often demonstrate remarkable resilience because they are willing to put in the extra effort and persevere until they achieve their desired outcome. All of these traits can fuel determination and propel them forward.
So far so good, where’s the dark side?
Despite the positive attributes, perfectionism can easily manifest into a supervillain, wreaking havoc on an individual’s mental and emotional well-being. Consider how a perfectionist might live in constant fear of making mistakes or falling short of their own impossibly exacting standards. This fear can be paralysing and prevent them from taking risks or fully embracing new opportunities.
Perfectionists tend to be overly self-critical, constantly berating themselves for perceived flaws or mistakes. This self-flagellation can erode their self-esteem and lead to feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. The fear of not meeting their own unrealistic expectations can lead perfectionists to engage in procrastination too. They may find themselves endlessly refining and tweaking their work, never feeling satisfied enough to complete or share it with others.
The relentless pursuit of perfection can take a toll on one’s mental and physical health. Perfectionists often experience high levels of stress, anxiety, and burnout as they push themselves beyond their limits in pursuit of flawlessness. This is when interventions can be helpful.
Knowing when to call for back up
If perfectionism becomes persistent, distressing, and significantly interferes with everyday functioning and well-being then it may be time to get some extra help. Here are some signs that perfectionism may necessitate therapeutic intervention:
- Emotional distress: Intense and persistent feelings of anxiety, stress, disappointment, or self-criticism. If perfectionistic tendencies result in significant emotional distress that impairs daily functioning or causes a decline in mental well-being, therapy may be beneficial.
- Impaired relationships: Strained relationships due to excessively high standards, criticism of oneself or others, or difficulty accepting imperfections. If perfectionistic tendencies are leading to damaged relationships, social isolation, or difficulties in forming and maintaining connections, therapy can help address these challenges.
- Procrastination or paralysis: Struggling to start tasks or completing them due to fears of not meeting their own high standards can lead to chronic procrastination, a significant decrease in productivity, or an inability to take action. Therapy can provide support and strategies for overcoming these challenges.
- Low self-esteem: Adverse effects on an individual’s overall well-being, including physical health, self-esteem, and self-worth. If perfectionistic tendencies lead to self-neglect, self-criticism, or a persistent sense of not being “good enough,” therapy can help to develop healthier perspectives and behaviours.
- Perfectionism as a core identity: If perfectionism is a rigid and all-encompassing aspect of an individual’s identity, therapy can support exploration and development of a more flexible and balanced self-concept. This is particularly relevant if perfectionism dominates one’s thoughts, emotions, and actions, limiting personal growth and fulfilment.
- Poor quality of life: Excessive stress, impairing work or academic performance, and hindering engagement in enjoyable activities. In these instances, therapy can provide guidance and tools to manage the perfectionism more effectively
Seeking therapy for perfectionism is a completely personal decision. A therapist can assess the specific situation and tailor interventions to the individual’s requirements, helping to unmask their true potential, tailor interventions to their unique needs, and help them emerge as empowered beings.
ACT as the superhero’s sidekick
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) offers valuable tools to manoeuvre a struggle with perfectionism and turn it into a superpower. Here we have identified some ways that ACT can support people with perfectionism:
At work
Perfectionists often have a strong identification with their thoughts and beliefs about themselves and their work. ACT helps individuals defuse from these unhelpful thoughts, creating distance from the self-critical inner voice. Through non-judgmental awareness, perfectionists can learn to acknowledge their fears and self-critical thoughts without getting entangled in them. By practicing mindfulness, clients can create space between themselves and their perfectionistic tendencies, allowing more effective responses to their thoughts and emotions.
Through clarification of values, perfectionists can set more meaningful work goals that go beyond the pursuit of flawlessness. Encompassing a broader sense of purpose and fulfilment acknowledges that progress is more important than achieving an unattainable ideal. For instance, instead of striving for perfection in every aspect of work, a person could focus on developing healthy relationships with colleagues or maintaining a work-life balance.
ACT can also support a perfectionist in breaking down their goals into smaller, manageable tasks and encouraging them to focus on consistent effort rather than perfection. By taking committed action, individuals can overcome the tendency to procrastinate or get stuck in perfection paralysis, leading to a greater sense of accomplishment and personal growth.
Personal lives
In relationships, perfectionists may struggle with showing vulnerability or revealing their true selves for fear of judgement or falling short of expectations. ACT can be used as a sidekick to explore fears and beliefs around vulnerability, and support in taking small steps towards opening up. Through genuine connections and allowing themselves to be seen and accepted for who they are, perfectionists can experience deeper and more fulfilling relationships.
Perfectionists can benefit from exploring the values they hold in their relationships, such as trust, respect, intimacy, or open communication. Reflections on their high expectations of others can help explore the underlying fears or insecurities that drive the need for perfection. ACT can be used to encourage individuals to develop acceptance and compassion, not only for themselves but also for others. Through acceptance exercises and cognitive defusion techniques, individuals can learn to let go of rigid expectations and embrace the imperfections and uniqueness of their loved ones, creating greater harmony and appreciation in relationships.
Perfectionists often have a strong desire for control, which can create tension and strain in relationships. ACT therapy encourages individuals to let go of excessive control and surrender to the uncertainties and imperfections inherent in human connections. Through mindfulness practices and acceptance exercises, individuals learn to tolerate discomfort, navigate vulnerability, and embrace flexibility in their relationships. This enables them to cultivate trust, allow others to express themselves authentically, and develop healthier dynamics based on mutual respect and understanding.
Superpower or supervillain?
Perfectionism, with its dual nature, can be both a superpower and a super villain. While it drives individuals towards excellence, it can also lead to stress, anxiety, and self-criticism. Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) provides a valuable framework for supporting individuals struggling with perfectionism, helping them find a healthier and more balanced approach to life. Through mindfulness techniques, accepting difficult thoughts and emotions, clarifying values, and taking committed action, individuals can overcome the pitfalls of perfectionism and foster personal growth and well-being. Perfectionism, when channelled in a positive and balanced way, can indeed become a superpower that fuels achievement and success without sacrificing mental health and self-compassion. With the guidance and support of a therapist trained in ACT, individuals can embark on a transformative journey towards embracing imperfection, living a more fulfilling life and becoming the hero of their own story.
