Setting clear intentions can help us to focus our thoughts and actions ahead of difficult conversations making it more likely we steer the talk in a positive direction. Some tips for setting effective intentions are:
- Writing them down: Jot down your intentions and what the purpose of the conversation is. This helps you articulate your intentions clearly.
- Ask “Why?”: For each intention, ask yourself why it matters. This will help you connect it back to your core values.
- Evaluate: After the conversation, reflect on whether your intentions were achieved and how they aligned with your values.
- Learn and adapt: Use this reflection to inform future conversations, ensuring continual alignment.
Setting intentions effectively in different scenarios
Here are some examples of setting intentions effectively for different types of difficult conversations:
Personal relationship:
- Intention: ”I want to express my feelings honestly and create a safe space for us to discuss our concerns.”
- Why it works: This intention focuses on openness and emotional safety, encouraging vulnerability and understanding.
Workplace discussion:
- Intention: ”I aim to address the project’s challenges constructively and collaborate on solutions.”
- Why it works: This intention emphasises teamwork and problem-solving, steering the conversation away from blame.
Feedback sessions:
- Intention: ”I want to provide constructive feedback that helps my colleague grow without making them feel criticised.”
- Why it works: This intention highlights support and growth, promoting a positive atmosphere for receiving feedback.
Conflict resolution:
- Intention: ”I want to understand the other person’s perspective and find common ground.”
- Why it works: This intention promotes empathy and collaboration, making it easier to resolve differences.
Therapeutic Setting:
- Intention: ”I aim to explore my feelings and gain insight into my behaviour during this session.”
- Why it works: This intention focuses on self-discovery and reflection, which are key components of effective therapy.
Negotiation:
- Intention: ”I want to reach an agreement that satisfies both parties while maintaining a positive relationship.”
- Why it works: This intention balances assertiveness with collaboration, fostering a win-win mindset.
We have also created these examples as a printable PDF:
Download setting intentions sheet