When a difficult moment strikes; a meltdown, defiance, the thing that always touches a nerve – it is easy for parents to react before they have thought it through. SOBER (Adapted from Bowen, Chawla and Marlatt, 2011) is a simple five-step tool that can help parents pause, reconnect with their values, and respond from the parent they want to be, even when the noise inside is at its loudest.
SOBER guides parents through a five step process:
- Stop what they’re doing,
- Observe what’s happening inside and around them,
- Breathe to settle the nervous system,
- Expand awareness beyond the immediate trigger, connect to parenting values
- Respond with intention rather than impulse.
It’s a practical tool for breaking the cycle of reactivity — turning a split-second habit into a conscious choice.
Download SOBER: An ACT framework for parents
Reference:
Adapted from Bowen, S., Chawla, N., & Marlatt, G. A. (2011). Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention for Addictive Behaviors: A Clinician’s Guide. Guilford Press.
