Living with long-term physical health conditions can be challenging, often leading to feelings of frustration, anxiety, and self-criticism. For individuals with long term health conditions, we often find the presenting concern (e.g. chronic pain) and then the secondary consequences of this. These can be far reaching, e.g. avoidance, frustration / irritation, impact on relationships, and can also have further physical sequelae, e.g. physiological tension. The areas of pain / discomfort are so often the source of the ‘problem’ and therefore it can feel counterintuitive to our clients to promote compassion towards these areas. However, cultivating self-compassion is essential for emotional well-being and can significantly improve the quality of life. One effective tool for fostering self-compassion is the soothing hand exercise. This gentle technique not only promotes relaxation but also nurtures a kinder, more understanding relationship with oneself.
What is self-compassion?
Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, especially during difficult times. It consists of three core components:
- Mindfulness: Maintaining a balanced awareness of painful emotions without over-identifying / fusing with them.
- Self-kindness: Being gentle and understanding with oneself rather than harshly critical.
- Common humanity: Recognising that suffering and personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience.
The soothing hand exercise
The soothing hand exercise serves as a practical method to promote self-compassion. By using gentle touch and mindfulness, individuals can create a nurturing experience that fosters emotional healing. Here’s how to implement this exercise:
Steps for the soothing hand exercise
- Create a comfortable space:
- Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can sit or lie down without distractions.
- Focus for a moment on your breath:
- Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a moment, and exhale through your mouth. Repeat until you feel more relaxed.
- Identify a focus area:
- Determine which part of your body feels tense, uncomfortable or perhaps there is a particular pain / sensation you are focusing on. This could be an area affected by your long-term condition or a place where you often hold stress.
- Gentle touch:
- Place your hand on the chosen area. Apply light pressure or simply rest your hands, depending on what feels right for you. This touch can serve as a form of self-soothing.
- Visualise compassion:
- As you hold this position, visualise warm, compassionate energy flowing from your hands into your body. Imagine this energy bringing comfort and acceptance to the area you are focusing on.
- Stay present:
- Focus on the sensations in your body as you breathe deeply. Acknowledge any emotions that arise without judgment, allowing yourself to simply be present with your experience.
- Duration:
- Continue this practice for 5 to 10 minutes, or as long as feels comfortable. Allow yourself to fully engage in this moment of self-care.
- Gently release:
- When you’re ready, slowly lift your hands and take a moment to notice any changes in how your body feels. Reflect on the experience and how it has impacted your emotional state.
If you would like a full script – please see an example in our resource hub here
Benefits for individuals with long-term conditions
- Enhanced self-compassion
The soothing sand exercise fosters a sense of kindness toward oneself. By acknowledging pain and discomfort without judgment, individuals can cultivate a more compassionate inner dialogue.
- Improved body awareness
By focusing on specific areas of discomfort, individuals can develop a greater awareness of their bodies, leading to more effective self-care practices.
- Improved emotional well-being
Many physical health conditions can lead to emotional distress. The soothing hand exercise can serve as a calming tool, promoting a sense of safety and comfort.
Summary
Promoting self-compassion is vital for individuals living with long-term health conditions. This can help to begin to change the relationship individual living with these conditions towards their conditions, and the sequelae of these. The soothing hand exercise is a powerful tool that combines gentle touch with mindfulness to foster a nurturing relationship with oneself, and in particular the pain or discomfort that we so often try to avoid. By incorporating this practice into daily routines, individuals can enhance their emotional well-being and cultivate a more compassionate mindset. This can allow space in order for us to reconnect with our values and work towards a full and valued life. Remember, self-compassion is a journey, and each small step taken toward kindness can lead to profound healing.