Written by Joe Oliver
As men, we have an important role to play in advocating for women in leadership. Women face unique challenges in the workplace, often due to systemic inequalities, unconscious biases, and cultural stereotypes that have persisted for far too long. Overcoming these barriers isn’t just about “fixing the system” or “fixing women,” but also about looking inward and addressing our own biases, behaviours, and actions.
Advocacy requires more than good intentions; it requires meaningful action. Like many men, I’ve wondered how to be an effective ally without unintentionally causing harm or perpetuating the very problems I want to address. This is where acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) can be a valuable guide. ACT, a mindfulness-based psychological framework, provides tools to help us clarify our values, take purposeful action, and approach this work with openness and humility.
Here are some practical ways we, as men, can show up as allies for women in leadership, using ACT principles to guide us.
1. Challenge gender bias and stereotypes
Challenging our own biases and internalised stereotypes is a crucial first step toward creating a more inclusive workplace. This isn’t just about calling out others’ behavior; it requires men to put in the work to understand and confront the unconscious biases we’ve absorbed over time. We must ask ourselves hard questions: Are we assuming women are less capable of making tough decisions? Are we unintentionally interrupting or dismissing their ideas in meetings? Do we feel defensive or threatened by the advancement of women, fearing it might diminish our own opportunities? These biases, often hidden beneath the surface, can shape everything from hiring decisions to daily interactions with colleagues and hinder progress toward equity.
ACT provides tools to help us navigate this inner work. Mindfulness helps us recognise when outdated stereotypes or feelings of insecurity arise, while cognitive defusion allows us to “unhook” from these thoughts and view them as unhelpful narratives, not truths. Importantly, men must actively choose to align their actions with values like fairness, inclusion, and equity—putting this inner work into practice by supporting women’s ideas, advocating for their leadership, and embracing their successes as a shared win, rather than a personal threat.
When we remain aware of our own biases and take purposeful, values-driven action to address them, we can lead by example. By fostering a workplace culture that values women’s contributions and dismantles systemic barriers, we create an environment where everyone can thrive. This work starts with us, and it requires humility, courage, and commitment.
2. Promote equity in opportunities
How often do we, as men, have access to high-visibility projects, decision-making roles, or mentorship opportunities that women in our workplaces don’t? It’s our responsibility to notice these disparities and take steps to ensure women are included. This might mean inviting women to participate in leadership conversations or advocating for them to take on critical projects. At times, it will mean challenging the status quo and being the lone voice in the room when others aren’t speaking up.
ACT’s focus on values-driven action encourages us to reflect on what truly matters to us. If we value fairness and inclusion, we must align our actions with those values, even when it’s uncomfortable. ACT also reminds us to accept the realities of systemic inequality, and to confront the role we may have played in maintaining these systems, without defensiveness. Only then can we make meaningful progress in creating equity.
3. Support policies that benefit women
Advocacy isn’t just about individual actions; it’s also about addressing structural barriers. Policies like flexible work arrangements, parental leave, and anti-harassment initiatives are critical for supporting women in leadership. But policy changes only work when they’re actively used and role modelled. For example, as men, we can normalise flexible working by taking advantage of it ourselves, or share family responsibilities more publicly to challenge outdated gender roles.
ACT’s principle of committed action reminds us that it’s not enough to talk about change; we need to take actionable steps. Mindfulness helps us stay aware of how the lack of inclusive workplace policies (or their inconsistent application) creates barriers for women. By advocating for and using these policies ourselves, we can demonstrate our commitment to building a workplace where women can thrive.
4. Be an active ally
Being an ally is more than just supporting women from the sidelines; it’s about taking an active role in amplifying their voices and challenging exclusionary practices. This means speaking up when we see discrimination, giving credit where it’s due, and being willing to learn about the experiences of women in the workplace and at home. Importantly, it also means listening with humility and accepting that we may not always get it right.
ACT’s focus on self-compassion is critical here. Advocacy requires vulnerability, and it’s easy to feel defensive or discouraged when faced with feedback about our actions. ACT encourages us to approach these moments with kindness toward ourselves, so we can stay engaged and committed to allyship, even when it’s hard.
5. Foster psychological safety
Psychological safety is vital for women to feel empowered to lead authentically, share their ideas, and take risks. As men, we can foster this by trusting women to lead in their own way, encouraging diverse perspectives, and modelling vulnerability. For example, sharing our own mistakes can create an environment where it’s safe for others to do the same.
ACT teaches us to accept discomfort when addressing inequities and to commit to taking values-driven actions, even when it feels challenging. By role modelling respect and inclusion, we ensure that women feel valued and supported in the workplace. A psychologically safe environment allows women to thrive without fear of judgment or retaliation.
6. Mentor and sponsor women
Mentorship and sponsorship are two of the most practical ways we can directly support women in leadership. Mentorship involves sharing advice and guidance, while sponsorship goes a step further by actively promoting women for leadership opportunities and advocating for their advancement.
ACT’s principle of committed action encourages us to take consistent, values-driven steps toward equity and empowerment. Mindfulness helps us stay present and attentive in our mentorship relationships, so we can provide meaningful support that recognises the unique challenges women face.
Advocating for women in leadership isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about being intentional. It’s about stepping up, taking responsibility, and examining our own actions and biases with honesty and courage. True advocacy requires committing to meaningful change, even when it’s uncomfortable or challenging. ACT provides a powerful framework to guide us in this work, helping us approach it with mindfulness, humility, and a deep sense of purpose.
This work isn’t easy, but it’s essential. By challenging our own biases, creating equity, and fostering inclusive environments, we can help build workplaces where leadership opportunities are accessible to everyone. Together, we can create stronger organisations and a more equitable future for women in leadership.