Neurodiversity is a term that recognises the natural variations in human neurocognitive functioning. We are all neurodiverse.
Most children develop through typical stages, and this is labelled as neurotypical. A smaller group of children vary from this common pathway and this is called neurodivergence, and is often labelled with specifiers such as ADHD, Autism, dyslexia etc. Rather than viewing differences as deficits, the neurodiversity paradigm¹ emphasises acceptance and the unique strengths that come with diverse neurological profiles. When paired with therapeutic approaches like acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), neurodivergence can be celebrated and supported in meaningful ways.
Why understanding neurodivergence in children and young people matters
Children and young people with neurodivergent profiles often experience unique challenges in meeting neurotypical standards. For example, managing emotions, navigating social expectations, and adapting to the neurotypical standards of society. Traditional approaches to mental health and education are organised around neurotypical profiles, and therefore may unintentionally reinforce the idea that children’s differences are problems to be fixed, rather than natural variations to be understood and accepted.
Recognising neurodivergence shifts the focus from “normalising” children to creating environments that allow them to thrive in a context of acceptance. This includes providing support and adjustments in schools, fostering inclusive social practices, and encouraging self-awareness and self-compassion.
Is neurodivergence in children different from adults?
While the concept of neurodivergence applies across all ages, its manifestation and the challenges associated with it differ significantly between children and adults. These differences are shaped by neurotypical developmental stages, environmental expectations, and the support systems available.
Neurodivergent adults may have developed coping mechanisms to navigate their life, and have greater self-awareness and autonomy of their own style, as well as neurotypical expectations. They may have learned to make choices that suit their strengths and needs. While adults can face ongoing challenges such as stigma, high-pressure situations, or co-occurring mental health issues, we would expect them to have more self-advocacy skills than children. There may be some influence of neurodivergence here as research has shown that autistic college students rated themselves lower on self-advocacy than their neurotypical peers (Santhanam & Wilson, 2024). Adults often find clarity and validation through diagnosis.
Understanding the distinctions between this experience and what a child or young person is going through is crucial for us to understand when tailoring support, whether through therapeutic approaches like ACT or trying to support broader societal needs.
Here we explore some of the unique challenges that young people face in more detail:
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Developmental strengths and needs
All children are in the process of developing their self-concepts, cognitive, emotional, and social abilities, yet it is common to measure children against a neurotypical standard. Neurodivergent children would benefit from assessments and supports that tune in to their unique strengths and needs. For example, an autistic child might benefit from additional support in an area of need, such as participating in unstructured playtime at school. The same child may thrive if their strengths are tuned in to as well, for example, if the child has a skill in numeracy games. Differences can be more pronounced during childhood as the learning curve is steep when the brain is maturing. Younger children may not have developed the masking abilities that adults have; that is, hiding their uniqueness to either fit in or not stand out.
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External expectations and pressures
Children are frequently placed in environments with rigid expectations based on neurotypical standards, such as schools, where they are expected to meet specific academic, social, and behavioural levels. These settings often prioritise conformity, which can make it particularly difficult for neurodivergent children to thrive without appropriate support. For example, a child with sensory sensitivities may find a noisy classroom environment overwhelming, which can impact their ability to focus and learn.
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Recognition and diagnosis
Neurodivergence is often identified during childhood, as parents, teachers, or healthcare professionals notice differences in development or behaviour. Early recognition is beneficial, and can bring much-needed support and acceptance for the child and family, and support school progress. However, if handled poorly, it may exacerbate stigmatisation and struggle.
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Self-awareness and identity
Children are forming their sense of self, and their understanding of their neurodivergence is often shaped by the messages they receive from adults and peers. Positive, strengths-based approaches to neurodivergence can support children to develop a healthy sense of identity and pride in their unique traits. This is especially important for all children. Conversely, negative or deficit-based narratives can lead to feelings of shame or inadequacy.
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Support systems
Children typically rely on parents, teachers, and caregivers to advocate for their needs and provide support. The quality and consistency of this support can have a profound impact on their development and well-being. A child with ADHD, for example, may flourish in a school that offers acceptance and understanding, for example, providing extra time for assignments or movement breaks. It’s the lack of understanding that exacerbates difficulty. It’s imperative that early support and access to services are available to help neurodivergent young people develop psychological flexibility and maximise their potential.
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Emotional awareness and coping strategies
Neurodivergent children often experience difficulties with emotional self-management, especially, as they struggle to be understood in neurotypical settings. For instance, a child with sound sensitivity may have a strong emotional reaction to classroom noise. Helping a child develop self-awareness, educating teachers about the child’s needs, and incorporating constructive coping skills into the environment can be beneficial. This can be as simple as a quiet classroom space to reset, or a supportive touch on the shoulder to remind a child to they are supported.
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Focus of interventions
Interventions for neurodivergent children often centre around supporting development, building foundational skills, and creating environments that encourage growth. This may involve multiple therapies, including speech therapy, occupational therapy, or psychological therapy, such as ACT. The focus is on learning and differs to adults, where interventions are unpacking challenges, such as workplace stress, managing relationships, or treating co-occurring mental health issues like anxiety or depression.
The applicability of ACT for neurodivergent children and young people
ACT is a therapeutic model that focuses on building psychological flexibility – the ability to stay open and present to one’s experiences and to take value-driven actions, even in the face of difficult emotions. The DNA-V model focuses on building one’s unique abilities and developing psychological flexibility as we grow. The emphasis on acceptance and ability building makes it particularly effective for neurodivergent children and young people, as it aligns with the principles of neurodiversity by promoting self-acceptance and personal growth.
Here’s how ACT can support neurodivergent children and young people:
- Acceptance of differences: ACT encourages children to embrace all diversity as an integral part of who they are. Modelling self-compassion language and exercises by adults can reduce self-judgment and amplify self-acceptance. For example, using acceptance stories (e.g. Mr Huff) can help children see their challenging thoughts or feelings as part of their journey, without letting these experiences define them.
- Sensory activities: Neurodivergent children can experience heightened sensory and emotional experiences. Awareness actions and exercises, a core component of ACT, can help them become more aware of their thoughts and feelings without the associated overwhelm. Activities like five senses awareness or blowing five candles can help them ground themselves in the present moment.
- Empowerment through values: Many neurodivergent children report societal stigma or struggling to meet external expectations. ACT supports them in identifying ‘how they want to be’ in other words, their self values, and how they want to be with others, their social values. Adults can model helping them take actions with these values. This process can be empowering and help develop a sense of purpose and control.
- Build flexibility with anxious and self-critical thoughts: Neurodivergent children can become caught up in patterns of self-doubt or anxiety around social interactions. ACT’s awareness of thoughts exercise, especially those used in the DNA-V framework, can help them notice their thoughts as passing mental events rather than absolute truths. For example, a child might practise seeing thoughts as guides to action, ‘I think I am not good at this, maybe that’s just my mind looking out for me. What would happen if I tried to do it?’ This creates space to observe thoughts without becoming entangled in it, reducing its influence on their actions.
- Coping with social challenges and stigma: Although there has been dramatic improvement in schools over the past 5 years, neurodivergent children can still face misunderstanding or exclusion in social settings. ACT helps them navigate the social sphere by modelling, shaping and practising social choices.
Parental and teacher involvement in ACT for neurodivergent children
Parents, caregivers, and educators play a critical role in supporting neurodivergent children by modelling abilities and teaching explicitly. ACT often integrates their involvement to create a consistent and accepting environment. Training for parents and teachers can focus on:
- Understanding the child’s unique needs and reinforcing ACT principles at home or in school.
- Modelling psychological flexibility by demonstrating acceptance of their own emotions and challenges.
- Using ACT-based strategies, such as teaching exercises or values conversations, to support the child’s development.
This collaborative approach ensures that children receive consistent support, both in therapy sessions and in their daily lives.
Tailoring ACT to individual needs
While ACT provides a helpful framework, it’s essential to tailor interventions to the unique experiences of each neurodivergent child. For example, an autistic child with a preference for routines might benefit from explicit practice, while a child with ADHD might engage better with active, movement-based values exploration.
Therapists working with neurodivergent children should also be mindful of sensory sensitivities, communication styles, and potential co-occurring conditions. Flexibility and creativity are key to making ACT accessible and effective.
The role of the DNA-V model for young people
The DNA-V model, developed by Dr Louise Hayes and Dr Joseph Ciarrochi, adapts ACT principles specifically for children and adolescents. This model helps young people navigate the complexities of their developing identity by focusing on six key systems:
- Discoverer: Exploring new experiences and learning from trial and error.
- Noticer: Building awareness of interoception, sensations and body awareness.
- Advisor: Building awareness and skill in managing language as a guide to action.
- Values and vitality: Practicing things that bring engagement and fun, and learning through practice how we want to be for ourselves and with others.
- Social view: Practicing seeing the world with others, perspective taking, recognising that others can have the same or different responses to the world. Learning to connect and seek support and safety.
- Self-view: Practicing seeing ourselves as learning and growing, as being able to change rather than seeing ourselves as fixed labels.
For neurodivergent children, the DNA-V model offers a flexible way to strengthen their abilities in a manner that resonates with their unique needs. You can learn more about this model on our DNA-V resources page.
ACT as a celebration of neurodivergence
When applied to neurodivergent children and young people, ACT aligns beautifully with the principles of neurodivergence by affirming their worth and unique contributions. For older teens mindfulness, values alignment, and psychological flexibility, equips them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges while staying true to themselves.
By embracing neurodivergence and integrating ACT into therapeutic and educational practices, we can create a more inclusive world where all children and young people have the opportunity to thrive.
¹For more information about the neurodiversity paradigm you can visit: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/neurodiversity-affirmative-education-why-and-how and https://embrace-autism.com/the-neurodiversity-paradigm/
References
Santhanam, S. P., & Wilson, K. (2024). A Comparison of Autistic and Non-Autistic College Students’ Perceived Challenges and Engagement in Self-Advocacy. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, 33(3), 1471-1484.
