What do we mean when we say adolescents are “stuck”?
Adolescents who are “stuck” refers to young people who find themselves caught in patterns of behaviours, thoughts, or emotions that prevent them from moving forward in a meaningful or valued direction. This might look like being overwhelmed by anxiety, paralysed by fear of failure, caught in cycles of avoidance, or engaging in unhelpful behaviours like self-criticism or procrastination.
From an acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) perspective, being “stuck” often involves fusion with difficult thoughts and emotions or a lack of clarity about values, making it hard for adolescents to take committed action towards what truly matters to them. However, it is essential to recognise that this “stuckness” is not merely an individual failing or something “broken” within the adolescent that needs to be fixed. Often, the systems surrounding young people, such as their families, schools, or broader social environments, play a significant role in creating or maintaining these struggles. For example, a family environment that avoids addressing emotional challenges or a school system that prioritises achievement over well-being can leave young people without the tools or support needed to navigate their difficulties. By acknowledging these systemic influences, we can approach adolescents’ challenges with greater compassion and work towards creating environments that support psychological flexibility and values-based living.
How can ACT can help teenagers who are ‘stuck’?
Helping adolescents who are stuck involves supporting them to develop psychological flexibility. ACT can help them notice and defuse from unhelpful thoughts, open up to difficult emotions, and reconnect with their values so they can take meaningful action despite the challenges they face. Here are some more examples of how ACT can help adolescents:
- Normalising struggles: Adolescents often feel isolated in their difficulties, assuming that their thoughts or feelings are abnormal or shameful. ACT helps normalise these experiences by explaining that uncomfortable thoughts and emotions are a normal part of being human.
- Teaching defusion techniques: Adolescents often get “hooked” by their thoughts, believing them to be absolute truths; then fuse with them. ACT helps them defuse from these thoughts, creating space to see them for what they are: just words or stories. A great example of this is the hands as thought exercise.
- Building willingness to experience emotions: Many adolescents struggle because they try to avoid or suppress difficult emotions, which only amplifies their distress. ACT supports them in becoming more open and willing to experience these emotions without being controlled by them. Teaching them to observe emotions in their body, such as noticing where anxiety shows up (e.g., tight chest, racing heart), and allow those sensations to exist without judgment can be a powerful mindfulness practice.
- Supporting committed action: Adolescents often feel paralysed by fear, self-doubt, or perfectionism, which stops them from taking steps forward. ACT encourages them to take small, meaningful actions aligned with their values, even when their mind tells them they’re not ready. ACT helps them focus on the fact they tried rather than just the result. For example, praising the value-driven effort of attending a social event rather than whether they felt confident the entire time.
- Using metaphors to shift perspective: ACT is rich with metaphors, which can help adolescents understand and reframe their struggles in a relatable way. Ask them to imagine they are stuck in tug-of-war with a monster (this represents their struggle), pulling on a rope. The more they pull, the more stuck they feel. Dropping the rope (acceptance) allows them to step back and move forward despite the monster.
- Treating themselves with kindness: Adolescents are often harsh on themselves, especially when they feel stuck. ACT integrates elements of self-compassion to help them treat themselves with kindness. For example, the kind friend exercise asks them to imagine what they would say to a close friend who was struggling, then reflect on how they can offer that same kindness to themselves.
- Working with the system around the adolescent: Adolescents do not exist in isolation; their struggles are often influenced or amplified by the systems they are part of, such as their family, school, or social environment. ACT highlights the importance of working not only with the young person but also with the systems surrounding them. For example, helping families build psychological flexibility together can create a supportive environment where values are clarified, emotions are acknowledged, and open communication is encouraged. Similarly, working with schools to implement accommodations or practices that reduce rigidity and promote well-being can significantly support adolescents in becoming unstuck.
You can read more about psychological flexibility and DNA-V – the ACT model for children and adolescents, in their own knowledge hub articles.
Books for practitioners
- “ACT for adolescents: A transdiagnostic guide for clinicians” by Sheri L. Turrell and Mary Bell – This book is highly practical and tailored specifically for working with adolescents using ACT. It focuses on how to apply ACT principles in a way that resonates with young people and includes case examples and exercises.
- “The thriving adolescent: Using acceptance and commitment therapy and positive psychology to help teens manage emotions, achieve goals, and build connection” by Louise Hayes and Joseph Ciarrochi – This book blends ACT with positive psychology and offers a structured approach to helping adolescents build psychological flexibility. It also introduces the DNA-V model, which simplifies ACT concepts for young people.
- “Get out of your mind and into your life for teens: A guide to living an extraordinary life” by Joseph V. Ciarrochi, Louise L. Hayes, and Ann Bailey – This self-help book is written for teens and provides accessible explanations of ACT concepts, along with exercises they can work through on their own or with a practitioner.
- “Mindfulness and acceptance for counselling college students: Theory and practical applications for intervention, prevention, and outreach” by Jacqueline Pistorello . While focused on older adolescents and young adults, this book offers useful insights and strategies for applying ACT in educational settings.
Books for adolescents and parents (to recommend or use in sessions)
- “Stuff that sucks: Accepting what you can’t change and committing to what you can” by Ben Sedley – Written in a friendly, relatable tone, this book introduces ACT concepts to teens in a simple way, focusing on how to manage difficult thoughts and feelings while moving towards what matters most.
- “Your life, your way: Acceptance and commitment therapy skills to help teens manage emotions and build resilience” by Joseph Ciarrochi and Louise Hayes – A practical workbook for teens that includes exercises, reflections, and tools to develop mindfulness and psychological flexibility.
- “Parenting your anxious child with mindfulness and acceptance: A powerful new approach to overcoming fear, panic, and worry using acceptance and commitment therapy” by Christopher McCurry – This book offers parents tools to support their anxious adolescents using ACT principles, helping them create a more supportive and understanding environment.
